Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Someone shattered a urinal.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
