Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize