I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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