i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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