i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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