Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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