I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
