I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
ttyl tear gas
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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