is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
