What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
