It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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