Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize