drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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