if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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