my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
