playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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