hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize