I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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