Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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