I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There r osticjed everywhere
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
