I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
