Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
