Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize