just come out here and I will go home with you...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
babies were throwing up all over the place
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
