More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
