I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this will be a night to untag.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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