I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
