Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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