Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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