Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
