Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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