Can Purell be used as lube?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
