I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is Oprah even human
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
