"it" just moved
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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