Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
