dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
