I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize