yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
