I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
