I got her a Nickelback box set.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
