You're completely useless in the revolution.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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