you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
