I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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