the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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