I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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