Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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