I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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