When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My pussy is not your playground.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
