I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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