I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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