Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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