This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
