My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
