You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
