That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
