Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
