you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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