That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
