He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
