idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
