I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
