piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
