You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize