You really coming over, don't trick.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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