i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
