No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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